“I can’t seem to let go of this feeling of anger towards my mum” one of my clients said to me.

“She never seemed to listen to me when I was younger. Still doesn’t. I was constantly telling her what I needed and she always seemed to be busy doing something else for someone else.”

The feeling of not being heard can be hugely frustrating for children and adults alike and can result in behavioural issues ranging from withdrawal through to severe forms of attention-seeking.

Setting goals and outcomes is about stepping into the role of creator of our future.

It places us in a position to steer our lives toward what we want to achieve or create and it wakes up the innate creative abilities within each of us.

So, what are goals and outcomes?

Unworthiness is one of the worst feelings that a human being can feel. It has tentacles that reach into areas of life that many other emotions cannot.

I would describe unworthiness as a mix of embarrassment, shame, self-loathing and demotion. It can cause the host to withdraw and to sabotage their relationship to life.

The three basic emotional needs of love, certainty and significance can be thought of as buckets.

If our three buckets are full, our needs are well met and we tend to operate from a place of contentment and clarity. However, if one or more of our buckets is empty or only partially full, we can begin to adapt our behaviours in ways that we think will earn us more love, certainty or significance. These behaviours can range in severity from harmless to manipulative to extremely destructive.